Men’s mental health matters now more than ever—but many of us have been raised to bottle things up, to solve problems alone, to see vulnerability as weakness. The truth is, many of us are walking around with unspoken battles. We’ve learned to wear strength like armour, but beneath it, we’re often dealing with stress, self-doubt, or emotional exhaustion. You’re not alone if you’ve ever felt like you're barely holding it together while appearing to the world like you’ve got it all sorted. Real strength lies in acknowledging what’s really going on inside. It's not about having all the answers—it’s about giving yourself permission to talk, to ask, to feel, and to grow. That voice in your head isn’t your enemy—it’s just a signal that it’s time to take care of yourself.
Nothing seems to be going right, it could be a project off track, a role that does not quite fit, or promised opportunities that never arrived or constant moving objectives and deadlines.
I can write this months newsletter from personal experience and I have written about it extensively in my book The Bulletproof banker where despite surviving seven armed robberies in a banking career it was working 84 hours a week that led me to mental exhaustion and the need to change my life for the better.
There are moments in your life when you may find yourself sitting alone in a park, an office canteen away from people as you watch the world go quiet around you, the people seem to be moving in silence yet the negative voice in your mind grows louder and louder.
If you only understood that this stillness can be so powerful while you take a moment to step back from the pressure because pausing consciously to reflect can help you identify your next steps, the steps you might not see in the chaos of your present work or life in general. If only you knew at this stage that you don’t have to have it all figured out and you are most probably confusing your job title with your self-worth, believing that your value rises or falls with promotions or positions.
But you just can’t see clearly that who you are isn’t defined by a job title.
You have smiled through the day, you kept conversations going, you did all of what was expected of you and someone may even have told you that you have done a great job, but deep down you feel a heaviness a weight a sadness that’s hard to put your finger on or put a name to.
You don’t need to have all the answers now. What matters is moving forward, learning, adjusting and building strength in small steps, Hard doesn’t mean it’s hopeless. If only we knew at this stage our setbacks often provide opportunities for growth. The very challenges you're facing may be preparing you to live and work on a different level than we have ever imagined.
No one has noticed your pain because you’ve gotten so good at hiding it to others but you can’t forget it because in your head it’s always there, even at the happiest of times it catches you off guard.
Imposter syndrome I’m not worthy I’m not good enough it hits you anywhere
In the car. In the middle of the night. When you are alone and the silence just screams failure at you.
It’s the kind of pain us men don’t talk about. The ache of major anxiety, the pressure of trying to hold it all together, the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of falling apart if you finally let go, the fear of asking for help or wondering what people will think.
But here's something you need to hear:
Your inner pain is valid, you don’t have to understand it perfectly to know its real.
But we need to know that just because we believe no one sees it, doesn’t mean it’s invisible.
You deserve support, not because you may think you are broken—but because you are worth it. Life can be overwhelming at times for all of us , and none of us should have to face that alone.
Talking to someone helps. Talking to a coach about your stress helps because good
coaching creates space to unpack what’s going on without judgment.
It’s not about being fixed, it’s about being heard, understood, and supported.
If you’re tired of pretending everything’s fine…
If you’ve been carrying too much for too long…
Reach out.
The silence doesn't have to last forever, remember “ You are allowed to start over”
If this resonates—or you know someone at work or in your industry facing a transition—I'm here to help. I coach professionals to move through career plateau, stress, or uncertainty—without overthinking.
Impostor Syndrome
What it is: The feeling that you’re not truly qualified, even when you are. People experiencing this often doubt their achievements and fear being “found out.”
Why it matters: It holds people back from applying for new roles, speaking up in meetings, or leading confidently.
Coaching with me helps you reframe your internal narrative and build confidence based on facts—not fear.
Fear of Failure (or Fear of Success)
What it is: The anxiety that trying something new will end in embarrassment—or that success will create pressure you can't sustain.
Why it matters: It can cause self-sabotage or prevent you from taking meaningful career steps.
Coaching with me helps you explore what's really driving the fear and find manageable, forward actions.
Over-identifying with Your Role
What it is: When your identity is entirely tied to your job title, performance, or company.
Why it matters: If the role changes or ends, it can trigger deep anxiety or loss of self-worth.
Coaching with me helps you reconnect with who you really are—beyond the job.
People-Pleasing & Difficulty Saying No
What it is: The need to please others at the cost of your own priorities or wellbeing.
Why it matters: It often leads to overload, resentment, and burnout.
Coaching with me helps you build assertiveness, set boundaries, and communicate effectively.
“If you're facing uncertainty in your career, you're not alone. I've coached clients through impostor syndrome, burnout, and the subtle but damaging effects of career drift otherwise explained as when your role no longer matches who you are or what you value.
Coaching with me gives you the space to unpack what’s holding you back,whether it’s fear, self-doubt, or just the weight of having to figure it out alone. You don’t need to have the answers. Just the willingness to begin.”
Check out my website bjkennomotivation.com and read my book “ The Bulletproof Banker” available on Amazon for more information.
