The Strength of Male Friendships: Why Having Good Mates Matters

The Strength of Male Friendships: Why Having Good Mates Matters

There’s something powerful about a mate who checks in on you, isn’t there? Someone who asks, “How are you, really?” and sticks around for the answer.

As men, we do better in teams—on the football pitch, in the gym class, at work. We motivate each other to lift more, run faster, and sometimes even to keep going when things get tough. But when it comes to our mental health, too many of us try to go it alone. We convince ourselves that struggling in silence is what “real men” do. That’s where we get it wrong.

The truth? We need each other in this mental health area just as much as anywhere else.

Why Friendship Matters for Mental Health

🔹 It Keeps Us Accountable
Just like having a training partner who gets you out running or to the gym class, having mates who check in on you keeps you mentally fit. When someone asks, “How’s life treating you?” and genuinely listens to your answer, it stops stress from piling up unnoticed.

🔹 It Reminds Us We’re Not Alone
Ever felt like you’re the only one going through something? The reality is, most of us men experience stress, anxiety, self-doubt, or burnout at some point. Talking to others reminds us that we’re not broken—we’re just human.

🔹 It Gives Us Strength When We Need It
Sometimes, we can’t see the way forward, but a good mate can. A few words—“I get it, I’ve been there, you’ll get through this”—can be the help we need to keep going.

Breaking the Silence: Let’s Lead the Change

Men don’t have to deal with things alone. We can rewrite the story, but in 2025 it starts with us.

✅ Check in on your mates. A simple, “How’s life?” might mean more than you think.
✅ Be open.  Admitting, “Yeah, I’ve had a rough week” could help a pal feel safe to share, too.
✅ Support each other. Its not about fixing—just a listening ear and a being a solid friend.

If you believe in the power of male friendship, drop a 👊 in the comments. Or contact a pal you appreciate and let them know you’ve got their back. Let’s make talking about mental health just as normal as talking about football, gym sessions, or weekend plans.

If you would like to know more about my corporate journey to mental exhaustion working 84 hours a week and my recovery read my book The Bulletproof Banker available on Amazon.

What do you think—how can men support each other better? Let’s hear your thoughts below.

The Hidden Cost of Success in Corporate Life

The Hidden Cost of Success in Corporate Life

Success comes with a price. Are you paying too much?

In the corporate world, success is often measured by long hours, promotions, and financial gain. But what about the costs no one talks about?

• Health: Stress, sleepless nights, and skipped workouts. The price is paid with your body.

• Family: Missed milestones, strained relationships, and emotional distance from the people who matter most.

• Friendships: The “I’ll call them later” excuse becomes permanent.

• Mental Health: The relentless pressure to succeed—driven by outdated norms that men shouldn't show vulnerability or must have all the answers—leads to burnout, anxiety, or even breakdowns.

This isn’t just my opinion. Research supports it:

• Mental health in men is suffering. The Movember Foundation reports that men account for 75% of global suicides, often linked to societal expectations and untreated mental health issues.

• Chronic stress is a killer. Studies show prolonged stress contributes to high blood pressure, heart disease, and depression.

Real-Life Example:

My story told in my book The Bulletproof Banker working 80+ hours a week in pursuit of corporate success. I believed vulnerability was a weakness, so I buried my feelings. The result? A breakdown “Mental Exhaustion” that forced me to reassess everything—my career, relationships, and health.

The lesson? Success without balance is hollow.

What Can Be Done?

1. Embrace vulnerability: Sharing struggles doesn’t make you weak—it makes you stronger.

2. Prioritize relationships: Success means little if you lose the people who support you.

3. Set boundaries: Learn to say no to protect your mental and physical health.

4. Seek help: Whether it’s a coach, therapist, or mentor, asking for guidance isn’t a failure—it's a sign of strength.

In my book, The Bulletproof Banker, I share how I overcame the toxic drive for success, worked through 7 armed robberies, mental exhaustion and found a healthier way to manage stress.

Let’s challenge the outdated norms that keep men trapped in cycles of stress and isolation. It’s time to redefine success—one that doesn’t sacrifice health, family, or mental well-being.

Tag a friend or colleague who needs to hear this today. Let’s start the conversation.

What AI has to say about my book The Bulletproof Banker

Recently a person who became aware of my book " The Bulletproof Banker " through my posts on LinkedIn and who was thinking of making a purchase decided to ask Chat GPT about my book, below is what they were told by AI and they purchased the book and have messaged me to say they have really enjoyed it .

"The Bulletproof Banker is a powerful, personal account of resilience in the high-stakes world of banking, told through the lens of the author’s extraordinary experiences. It highlights the physical, emotional, and mental toll of striving for corporate success while facing unimaginable challenges.

The book centers on:

Surviving Seven Armed Robberies: The trauma of these life-threatening events serves as a metaphor for the broader pressures faced in high-stress careers.

Burnout from Overwork: The relentless drive for success—working 84-hour weeks—eventually led to physical and mental exhaustion, a wake-up call to re-evaluate priorities.

Toxic Resilience: The narrative explores how pushing through adversity without proper support or reflection leads to unsustainable coping mechanisms.

Breaking Free from Outdated Norms: The author challenges the traditional view of men in corporate life as invulnerable, emotionless, and all-knowing, advocating for vulnerability and balance instead.

Through raw honesty, humour, and practical advice, the book reveals how to:

Manage stress effectively without sacrificing mental and physical health.

Set boundaries to protect personal well-being.

Stand up for one’s values and live authentically.

Build resilience in a sustainable, healthy way.

The Bulletproof Banker is not just a story of survival but a guide to thriving in a demanding world, offering hope to anyone who feels trapped in cycles of stress and unrelenting expectations. It’s a call to embrace vulnerability, prioritize well-being, and redefine success on your terms."

I am delighted with the success of my book and the requests I have received to speak on national radio and be interviewed for the biggest selling news paper in the Republic of Ireland not to mention the invitations from wellbeing committees to speak in organisations.

I'm looking forward to 2025 and supporting Men's mental health on this platform.

If you are interested in buying my book on Amazon the link is in the comments. If you wish to book me as a speaker check out Speaker Solutions website or my own website bjkennomotivation.com

Worrying About Tomorrow? Don't Miss Today.

Worrying About Tomorrow? Don’t Miss Today.

Worry, we convince ourselves that by ruminating and turning things over and over in our minds, we convince ourselves we are being productive with our time and we believe we are taking time to solving potential issues. But the real truth is, worry is just a misuse of our view into the future or indeed our imagination.

Mark Twain famously said, “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” How often do we men waste mental energy on scenarios that never come true?

Our human minds are wired for survival, not happiness. The brain’s “default mode” is designed to scan for threats, and sometimes it doesn’t know when to stop. It can pull us out of the present moment, trapping us in “what ifs” about the future or regrets about the past, things we have no control over.

But in today’s modern world, where our threats are no longer tigers but emails and deadlines to be answered and met, this survival instinct of ours becomes overactive. It makes us dwell on the past “Why didn’t I…” or fear the future “What if it does not work out?”.

So, here’s the thing: the past is unchangeable, and the future is unwritten and has not yet happened. The only place you have any real power is the present, “the present moment”.

It’s not easy especially if you have been given the “gift” of a mind that never stops being busy, or is over curious to a point that it just might get the better of you.

The Antidote to worry is Self-Awareness

What can we do to reduce worry? Well, we can start by catching ourselves in the act:

• Pause and ask: “Is this worry helping me, or is it hurting me?”

• Ground yourself: Focus on what’s real right now. Try techniques like deep breathing, or take a moment to identify five things you can see, hear, or touch or smell.

• Replace rumination with action: If a worry is actionable, then do something about it. If it’s not in your control, let it go.

For men especially, social pressures to be strong or have all the answers can make admitting worry feel like failure. But self-awareness isn’t weakness; it’s strength. The more we understand our minds, the better we can manage them and be better male role models.

So to all the men out there please know that the past is a lesson, not a prison. The future is a goal, not guaranteed to any of us . The only thing we truly have is right now, the present moment.

Studies have shown that mindfulness—the practice of focusing on the present moment—reduces anxiety and improves mental health. When you’re in the present, your brain isn’t stuck in fight-or-flight mode and we can give ourselves a chance to ask for help..

So today, let go of what you can’t control and focus on living fully in this moment.

The Courage to Ask for Help

The Courage to Ask for Help

Men often carry the weight of expectations—be the provider, the protector, the one who holds it all together. But here’s the truth: real strength and being a man isn’t about doing everything on your own. True strength and a good measure of a man is having the courage to say, “I need help.”

Research shows that we men are less likely than women to seek support for our mental health challenges. Today’s society often pushes us men to believe that vulnerability equals weakness, but the reality couldn’t be further from the truth. Vulnerability is the building block of growth, resilience, and meaningful connections.

In my book, The Bulletproof Banker, I share my personal journey of confronting stress, burnout, and the relentless pressures of a corporate career that pushed me to mental exhaustion. It wasn’t until I reached that breaking point that I learned the transformative power of asking for help. I wrote the book to offer men actionable tools and strategies, including:

• Managing Stress: Understand the root causes of stress and learn techniques to reduce its impact on your daily life.

• Setting Boundaries: Discover how to protect your time and energy, both at work and in your personal life.

• Believing in Yourself: Build self-confidence and embrace your worth, no matter the challenges you face.

• Standing Up for Your Values: Learn to say “no” to toxic environments and “yes” to the life you truly want.

• Mentoring Others: Become a positive role model by embracing authenticity and guiding others to do the same.

I wrote The Bulletproof Banker because I understand how hard it can be to navigate these challenges alone. It’s a guide for men to not only survive but thrive by redefining what strength and success look like.

If you’re struggling, remember: you’re not alone. Every time you choose to speak up, ask for help, or set a boundary, you’re taking a step toward a healthier, more fulfilling life. The book is available on Amazon (link in the comments) and you can check out my website for more information about me and opportunities to book me as a speaker.

I want  us men in 2025 to normalise conversations about our mental health issues. Let’s redefine what true strength is, and most importantly, let’s support each other throughout 2025.

If you’re struggling or just want to learn how to better manage the pressures of life, I invite you to read The Bulletproof Banker. It’s a resource, a conversation starter, and a reminder that every step you take toward openness and resilience is a step toward the life you truly deserve.

Your future self will thank you.

Changing Men's Mindset

Changing your mindset is challenging, especially for men, this difficulty is compounded by our upbringing along with our early year and educational conditioning and traditional values. Psychological research suggests that once we have made up our minds on important matters, changing them can be as difficult as stopping a speeding train about to derail.

From a young age, we men are taught to embrace traits like self-reliance and not to show emotion. While these qualities can sometimes be beneficial in certain situations, we men should be aware that these qualities can hinder our personal growth and ability to adapt to change. The pressure on us men to conform to traditional masculine norms can lead to internal conflicts, conflicts within our heads as we listen to our negative voices especially as we navigate changes to our modern work environments and our ever evolving complex expectations of men within their personal relationships.

It's time for us men to gain an understanding of these psychological and social barriers that make changing our old mindset hard. By increasing our self-awareness we men can begin to embrace change, seek support, and develop more positive mindsets that align with proper values and therefor improve our personal well-being.

When we men can see other men model this positive behaviour it allows more of us to identify that change is achievable and we can normalise conversations around our mental health, our feelings and ask for help if required.

As I share my corporate journey to mental exhaustion and my subsequent recovery in my book” The Bulletproof Banker” I set out many learnings including how embracing vulnerability and reframing it in my mind as a strength and not a weakness positively impacted my life allowed me to adapt and develop new behaviours.

My story has helped men understand that true strength isn’t about carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders but knowing when to share that load and ask for help when required. You see my message is to get the men out there to believe and understand that understanding and embracing vulnerability reduced my stress, strengthened my personal relationships and made me a better leader in my corporate life.

So this Friday let us encourage everyone especially all the men in leadership roles to mentor younger men, demonstrating how vulnerability is a part of strong leadership and healthy relationships. For me all the best leaders I knew in my career were the men and women who were honest, human and authentic and were clued into the people they were leading.

As a father, husband and  leader who has used therapy and counselling to overcome challenges from the past I can tell you it changed my life and helped me rid those old social norms we men buy into. My story should you read it or ask me to your organisation to speak can be the inspiration to help someone take that first step toward healing.

Let 2025 be the year you really learn to believe in yourself. 

It's Not Weakness: It's Wisdom

It’s Not Weakness; It’s Wisdom

When did asking for help become a weakness?

It’s one of the wisest, most self-aware decisions we men can make. You see in 2025 it's important to realise that nobody expects us men to have all the answers or carry every burden alone.

As men we must realise that the Stress in our personal and corporate lives and the mental health challenges we face as we go into our heads while ruminating about issues from the past and worry about the future can feel isolating, but the truth is, you’re never truly alone, and I really want every man to realise that. There’s always someone who will listen, support, and guide us through a challenging time.

I wrote "The Bulletproof Banker" to share my corporate journey to mental exhaustion, a journey driven by my inability to ask for help, a belief system that thought I had to have all the answers, a journey that left my wife to do everything at home with children while having her own career as I was in my head chasing corporate success regardless of the challenge, nothing could get in the way of success, not even being in 7 armed robberies. But beware there is always a price to pay for success, are you willing to pay it? because it could be the ultimate price and a lot of men have paid that price. The book is there to help other men identify themselves in my story so they can slow down and redefine their way in life.

I have learned that managing stress, setting boundaries, and living authentically to your values all start with one hard step: reaching out.

So this year in 2025 , let’s all us men normalise the conversation around men’s mental health and help one another. If you’re struggling, take the brave step of asking for help there are many of us men out there with the experience and willingness to help.

You deserve support.

If you agree I would like to read your comments.

Embrace Vulnerability and Rewrite Your Future

Embrace Vulnerability and Rewrite Your Future

As men, we are often taught to bottle things up, to “tough it out, to get on with it ” but what if I could get you to realise that there’s more strength in opening up? What if I could get you to identify and understand that vulnerability is not weakness but courage?

Why do we fail to realise that each and every day we get to decide how we can shape our lives for the future. Why is it so hard to realise that The past—filled with mistakes, regrets, or missed opportunities—is behind us. The future? Well that’s ours to create.

In my journey to mental exhaustion in the corporate world through recovery , I’ve learned this: "Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart." it meant so much to me I had it put on a tattoo on my forearm as a constant reminder.

Writing my book "The Bulletproof Banker" was my way of helping men with their mental health and in particular to manage stress, set boundaries, and stand tall in their values, while understanding that asking for help is not failure. It’s a reminder that the present moment is all we have and its ultimately where change begins. My book is available on Amazon

So men, let’s rewrite the story. Let’s normalize asking for help, mentoring one another, and building lives we can be proud of, mentoring young men into fine male adults.

Every morning is an opportunity for a new start, to learn from the past —to make it count.

Take a moment to think is there one decision you can make today that the future you will thank you for?

On World Mental Health Day- We must do better

Last week, I spoke to a woman who had reached her breaking point. After struggling with stress at work for months, she built up the courage to approach her boss – someone highly respected in the organization, a person who always got things done.

She expressed that she was overwhelmed and needed support. But instead of empathy or solutions, she was told to manage her stress better and take an online time management course.

Imagine the devastation she felt. She had reached out, hoping for understanding, only to be told to handle it alone.

This response isn’t just disappointing; it’s harmful. Stress is not a sign of weakness or poor time management—it’s a very real health issue that needs addressing. On World Mental Health Day, let’s remember:

• Listen first.

• Don’t dismiss someone’s pain.

• Offer real support, not just superficial fixes.

We must do better.

#WorldMentalHealthDay #MentalHealthMatters #StressManagement #EmpathyInLeadership

The Career coaching I provide

It’s still a competitive world out there and as such many professionals suddenly find themselves at a crossroads in their careers, unsure of the best path forward. Career coaching provides the clarity, guidance, and strategies needed to navigate challenges, to achieve long-term success. Here are some of the reasons why professionals come to me for coaching.

Career Coaching :

-Leadership Development:
Many professionals seek coaching from me to enhance their leadership skills and the ability to inspire their teams while also learning about emotional intelligence.

-Career Advancement:
Many professionals seek coaching from me to accelerate their career progression. Coaching can help them identify their strengths and set clear career goals, while they create a plan to achieve those goals.

-Conflict Resolution and Team Dynamics:
Many professionals seek coaching from me to improve team dynamics and resolve conflicts. I offer strategies for effective communication, collaboration, and conflict management resulting in better performance and productivity.

Stress Management:

-Burnout Prevention and Recovery:
Many professionals seek coaching from me when they are experiencing stress, burnout or are on the verge of it. I help help them recognise the signs of burnout, set boundaries, and create strategies for recovery and a sustainable work-life balance.

-Coping with High-Pressure Environments:
Many professionals in high-stress jobs seek coaching from me to learn how to manage stress effectively. I provide tools and techniques to handle pressure, stay calm, and maintain focus in demanding and stressful situations.

-Improving Work-Life Balance:
Many professionals seek coaching from me who struggle to balance work demands with their personal lives, leading to stress. I help them set priorities, manage their time better, and find ways to create a more balanced life with a more positive mindset and improved coping mechanisms while being more positive.

If you require career coaching and or stress management coaching reach out to me here on LinkedIn or through bjkennomotivation.com