Changing your mindset is challenging, especially for men, this difficulty is compounded by our upbringing along with our early year and educational conditioning and traditional values. Psychological research suggests that once we have made up our minds on important matters, changing them can be as difficult as stopping a speeding train about to derail.
From a young age, we men are taught to embrace traits like self-reliance and not to show emotion. While these qualities can sometimes be beneficial in certain situations, we men should be aware that these qualities can hinder our personal growth and ability to adapt to change. The pressure on us men to conform to traditional masculine norms can lead to internal conflicts, conflicts within our heads as we listen to our negative voices especially as we navigate changes to our modern work environments and our ever evolving complex expectations of men within their personal relationships.
It's time for us men to gain an understanding of these psychological and social barriers that make changing our old mindset hard. By increasing our self-awareness we men can begin to embrace change, seek support, and develop more positive mindsets that align with proper values and therefor improve our personal well-being.
When we men can see other men model this positive behaviour it allows more of us to identify that change is achievable and we can normalise conversations around our mental health, our feelings and ask for help if required.
As I share my corporate journey to mental exhaustion and my subsequent recovery in my book” The Bulletproof Banker” I set out many learnings including how embracing vulnerability and reframing it in my mind as a strength and not a weakness positively impacted my life allowed me to adapt and develop new behaviours.
My story has helped men understand that true strength isn’t about carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders but knowing when to share that load and ask for help when required. You see my message is to get the men out there to believe and understand that understanding and embracing vulnerability reduced my stress, strengthened my personal relationships and made me a better leader in my corporate life.
So this Friday let us encourage everyone especially all the men in leadership roles to mentor younger men, demonstrating how vulnerability is a part of strong leadership and healthy relationships. For me all the best leaders I knew in my career were the men and women who were honest, human and authentic and were clued into the people they were leading.
As a father, husband and leader who has used therapy and counselling to overcome challenges from the past I can tell you it changed my life and helped me rid those old social norms we men buy into. My story should you read it or ask me to your organisation to speak can be the inspiration to help someone take that first step toward healing.
Let 2025 be the year you really learn to believe in yourself.
