The Courage to Ask for Help

The Courage to Ask for Help

Men often carry the weight of expectations—be the provider, the protector, the one who holds it all together. But here’s the truth: real strength and being a man isn’t about doing everything on your own. True strength and a good measure of a man is having the courage to say, “I need help.”

Research shows that we men are less likely than women to seek support for our mental health challenges. Today’s society often pushes us men to believe that vulnerability equals weakness, but the reality couldn’t be further from the truth. Vulnerability is the building block of growth, resilience, and meaningful connections.

In my book, The Bulletproof Banker, I share my personal journey of confronting stress, burnout, and the relentless pressures of a corporate career that pushed me to mental exhaustion. It wasn’t until I reached that breaking point that I learned the transformative power of asking for help. I wrote the book to offer men actionable tools and strategies, including:

• Managing Stress: Understand the root causes of stress and learn techniques to reduce its impact on your daily life.

• Setting Boundaries: Discover how to protect your time and energy, both at work and in your personal life.

• Believing in Yourself: Build self-confidence and embrace your worth, no matter the challenges you face.

• Standing Up for Your Values: Learn to say “no” to toxic environments and “yes” to the life you truly want.

• Mentoring Others: Become a positive role model by embracing authenticity and guiding others to do the same.

I wrote The Bulletproof Banker because I understand how hard it can be to navigate these challenges alone. It’s a guide for men to not only survive but thrive by redefining what strength and success look like.

If you’re struggling, remember: you’re not alone. Every time you choose to speak up, ask for help, or set a boundary, you’re taking a step toward a healthier, more fulfilling life. The book is available on Amazon (link in the comments) and you can check out my website for more information about me and opportunities to book me as a speaker.

I want  us men in 2025 to normalise conversations about our mental health issues. Let’s redefine what true strength is, and most importantly, let’s support each other throughout 2025.

If you’re struggling or just want to learn how to better manage the pressures of life, I invite you to read The Bulletproof Banker. It’s a resource, a conversation starter, and a reminder that every step you take toward openness and resilience is a step toward the life you truly deserve.

Your future self will thank you.

Changing Men's Mindset

Changing your mindset is challenging, especially for men, this difficulty is compounded by our upbringing along with our early year and educational conditioning and traditional values. Psychological research suggests that once we have made up our minds on important matters, changing them can be as difficult as stopping a speeding train about to derail.

From a young age, we men are taught to embrace traits like self-reliance and not to show emotion. While these qualities can sometimes be beneficial in certain situations, we men should be aware that these qualities can hinder our personal growth and ability to adapt to change. The pressure on us men to conform to traditional masculine norms can lead to internal conflicts, conflicts within our heads as we listen to our negative voices especially as we navigate changes to our modern work environments and our ever evolving complex expectations of men within their personal relationships.

It's time for us men to gain an understanding of these psychological and social barriers that make changing our old mindset hard. By increasing our self-awareness we men can begin to embrace change, seek support, and develop more positive mindsets that align with proper values and therefor improve our personal well-being.

When we men can see other men model this positive behaviour it allows more of us to identify that change is achievable and we can normalise conversations around our mental health, our feelings and ask for help if required.

As I share my corporate journey to mental exhaustion and my subsequent recovery in my book” The Bulletproof Banker” I set out many learnings including how embracing vulnerability and reframing it in my mind as a strength and not a weakness positively impacted my life allowed me to adapt and develop new behaviours.

My story has helped men understand that true strength isn’t about carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders but knowing when to share that load and ask for help when required. You see my message is to get the men out there to believe and understand that understanding and embracing vulnerability reduced my stress, strengthened my personal relationships and made me a better leader in my corporate life.

So this Friday let us encourage everyone especially all the men in leadership roles to mentor younger men, demonstrating how vulnerability is a part of strong leadership and healthy relationships. For me all the best leaders I knew in my career were the men and women who were honest, human and authentic and were clued into the people they were leading.

As a father, husband and  leader who has used therapy and counselling to overcome challenges from the past I can tell you it changed my life and helped me rid those old social norms we men buy into. My story should you read it or ask me to your organisation to speak can be the inspiration to help someone take that first step toward healing.

Let 2025 be the year you really learn to believe in yourself. 

It's Not Weakness: It's Wisdom

It’s Not Weakness; It’s Wisdom

When did asking for help become a weakness?

It’s one of the wisest, most self-aware decisions we men can make. You see in 2025 it's important to realise that nobody expects us men to have all the answers or carry every burden alone.

As men we must realise that the Stress in our personal and corporate lives and the mental health challenges we face as we go into our heads while ruminating about issues from the past and worry about the future can feel isolating, but the truth is, you’re never truly alone, and I really want every man to realise that. There’s always someone who will listen, support, and guide us through a challenging time.

I wrote "The Bulletproof Banker" to share my corporate journey to mental exhaustion, a journey driven by my inability to ask for help, a belief system that thought I had to have all the answers, a journey that left my wife to do everything at home with children while having her own career as I was in my head chasing corporate success regardless of the challenge, nothing could get in the way of success, not even being in 7 armed robberies. But beware there is always a price to pay for success, are you willing to pay it? because it could be the ultimate price and a lot of men have paid that price. The book is there to help other men identify themselves in my story so they can slow down and redefine their way in life.

I have learned that managing stress, setting boundaries, and living authentically to your values all start with one hard step: reaching out.

So this year in 2025 , let’s all us men normalise the conversation around men’s mental health and help one another. If you’re struggling, take the brave step of asking for help there are many of us men out there with the experience and willingness to help.

You deserve support.

If you agree I would like to read your comments.

Embrace Vulnerability and Rewrite Your Future

Embrace Vulnerability and Rewrite Your Future

As men, we are often taught to bottle things up, to “tough it out, to get on with it ” but what if I could get you to realise that there’s more strength in opening up? What if I could get you to identify and understand that vulnerability is not weakness but courage?

Why do we fail to realise that each and every day we get to decide how we can shape our lives for the future. Why is it so hard to realise that The past—filled with mistakes, regrets, or missed opportunities—is behind us. The future? Well that’s ours to create.

In my journey to mental exhaustion in the corporate world through recovery , I’ve learned this: "Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart." it meant so much to me I had it put on a tattoo on my forearm as a constant reminder.

Writing my book "The Bulletproof Banker" was my way of helping men with their mental health and in particular to manage stress, set boundaries, and stand tall in their values, while understanding that asking for help is not failure. It’s a reminder that the present moment is all we have and its ultimately where change begins. My book is available on Amazon

So men, let’s rewrite the story. Let’s normalize asking for help, mentoring one another, and building lives we can be proud of, mentoring young men into fine male adults.

Every morning is an opportunity for a new start, to learn from the past —to make it count.

Take a moment to think is there one decision you can make today that the future you will thank you for?

On World Mental Health Day- We must do better

Last week, I spoke to a woman who had reached her breaking point. After struggling with stress at work for months, she built up the courage to approach her boss – someone highly respected in the organization, a person who always got things done.

She expressed that she was overwhelmed and needed support. But instead of empathy or solutions, she was told to manage her stress better and take an online time management course.

Imagine the devastation she felt. She had reached out, hoping for understanding, only to be told to handle it alone.

This response isn’t just disappointing; it’s harmful. Stress is not a sign of weakness or poor time management—it’s a very real health issue that needs addressing. On World Mental Health Day, let’s remember:

• Listen first.

• Don’t dismiss someone’s pain.

• Offer real support, not just superficial fixes.

We must do better.

#WorldMentalHealthDay #MentalHealthMatters #StressManagement #EmpathyInLeadership

The Career coaching I provide

It’s still a competitive world out there and as such many professionals suddenly find themselves at a crossroads in their careers, unsure of the best path forward. Career coaching provides the clarity, guidance, and strategies needed to navigate challenges, to achieve long-term success. Here are some of the reasons why professionals come to me for coaching.

Career Coaching :

-Leadership Development:
Many professionals seek coaching from me to enhance their leadership skills and the ability to inspire their teams while also learning about emotional intelligence.

-Career Advancement:
Many professionals seek coaching from me to accelerate their career progression. Coaching can help them identify their strengths and set clear career goals, while they create a plan to achieve those goals.

-Conflict Resolution and Team Dynamics:
Many professionals seek coaching from me to improve team dynamics and resolve conflicts. I offer strategies for effective communication, collaboration, and conflict management resulting in better performance and productivity.

Stress Management:

-Burnout Prevention and Recovery:
Many professionals seek coaching from me when they are experiencing stress, burnout or are on the verge of it. I help help them recognise the signs of burnout, set boundaries, and create strategies for recovery and a sustainable work-life balance.

-Coping with High-Pressure Environments:
Many professionals in high-stress jobs seek coaching from me to learn how to manage stress effectively. I provide tools and techniques to handle pressure, stay calm, and maintain focus in demanding and stressful situations.

-Improving Work-Life Balance:
Many professionals seek coaching from me who struggle to balance work demands with their personal lives, leading to stress. I help them set priorities, manage their time better, and find ways to create a more balanced life with a more positive mindset and improved coping mechanisms while being more positive.

If you require career coaching and or stress management coaching reach out to me here on LinkedIn or through bjkennomotivation.com

Recommendation of Brian Kennedy as a Motivational Speaker

I am very grateful the CEO and Head of Corporate Affairs of the PSA the regulatory body for the security services in Ireland recommend me so highly as a motivational speaker.

Thank you for the opportunity to speak to your team.

If you are looking for a speaker reach out to me here on LinkedIn, bjkennomotivation.com or Speaker Solutions.

My Core Leadership Focus as a Friday message because leadership is not a game.

My Core Leadership Focus as a Friday message because leadership is not a game.

As a leader, I must recognise that stress is an inevitable part of our professional lives. But how we navigate it can make all the difference, because stress that develops into chronic stress must be avoided. My goal as a leader is to foster an environment where my team feels supported, balanced, and equipped to handle challenges, without sacrificing their well-being but get the job done.
As a leader let me show you how I will support them.

Open Communication. I encourage an open-door policy where team members can talk openly and share concerns without fear. By being available and approachable it will help reduce the pressure and stop individuals bottling up issues.

Flexibility. Being aware that life happens to all of us. So, whether it's offering flexible hours or remote work options, I want to create a balance that allows my team to perform without burning out.

Encouraging Breaks. Making sure my team take time to recharge is very important. I remind my team on a regular basis that stepping away from the desk is not a luxury—it’s a necessity for maintaining productivity and mental health.

Lead by example. I make it a point to manage and practice my own work-life balance. By leading by example, I hope to inspire the same in others.

Workload Management. I will always be aware of the work stack of my team, set boundaries and if required say no to additional workload. For any of my team struggling I ensure my team knows where to turn for support when they need it.

If I can carry this out successfully, I know I’ll have a strong, resilient team to work with.

hashtag#Leadership hashtag#TeamSupport hashtag#MentalHealthAtWork hashtag#StressManagement hashtag#WorkLifeBalance hashtag#LeadWithEmpathy

Leadership is not a game.

What does the way you hang your toilet roll say about you?

I’m sure you will find a quiet moment to check this out about yourself today, if you don't you may have bigger problems lol.

What does the way you place your toilet paper say about you?

Dr.Gilda Carle surveyed 2,000 people into the way we hang our toilet paper and what it could say about us. She determined that:

Roll Over
·      Those who leave the loose end away from the wall, who roll the paper over the top, those people love to be in charge, they like things in order and everything has a place. These people the research mentions tend to be in leadership roles as they like to take charge. To make matters worse the research goes on to state these “roll overs” earn significantly more than an under roller, and if that’s not bad enough if they come to your house to visit  they will switch the way your toilet roll hangs.

Roll Under
·      Those who keep the loose end beside the wall or roll under tend to be a more relaxed and dependable type of people. They like relationships with a foundation and friendships matter to them. These people tend to be more agreeable, flexible and empathic…the research calls them submissive ah come on now  !! submissive because we listen and agree and are thoughtful really ! Jeepers gets you thinking.

Don’t care either way
·      Then there are those of us like me who don’t care either way we hang the paper (we are just glad it’s there when we need it). Apparently though we prefer to minimize conflict, we appreciate flexibility, and we enjoy pushing themselves in new situations….Yes sounds good to me!

I’m sure you can find a quiet moment to figure out where you stand on this but beware it appears also from the research just flipping to be an over roller won't immediately increase your earning power.

Have a great Wednesday, love to hear your comments.

You will never look at your toilet paper in the same way again.
.

Why Organisations with great leadership survive.

Great leadership is the foundation for a thriving organisation. When we lead effectively, it doesn't just drive the organisation toward its goals; it positively impacts everyone the managers and staff at every level. Here's how:

Great leaders who can demonstrate a clear vision for the business can help all the individuals find a sense of purpose in their daily work that inspires them personally and to enjoy their work giving managers and staff a strong sense of daily purpose that transcends to all areas of their lives.

By trusting managers and staff with responsibility and the autonomy to make decisions in the workplace the confidence all the people feel helps them really enjoy their lives. The overall communication from the leadership team is so clear it builds a trusted environment where everyone feels valued as they all work toward a common goal. The acknowledgement of the effort and achievement of the managers and staff boosts morale and the overall vision for the future of the organisation.

Great leaders through their honest communication breakdown silos as they promote teamwork and corporate knowledge share. Opportunities for organised mentoring and coaching help’s build the next pipeline of leaders who can react to change and be adaptable to the future demands of the business. This supportive organisational culture reduces the chances of employee burnout as the organisation clearly values work-life balance and job satisfaction, a culture where if a person is struggling they can ask for help.

On a daily basis you will see these great leaders walk amongst the managers and the staff thanking them for a job well done as they live the values they communicate throughout the organisation. This simple action can do a lot to foster creativity and resilience within the organisation and provide a culture where external top talent scramble to come and work for the company. This creativity drives growth and keeps the organisation competitive into the future, especially in ever changing environments.

So great leadership not only builds trust but transforms individuals and organisations, it motivates individuals to work together and improve performance leading to a truly great place to work and a successful organisation.