I reserve my right to be dumb.

I reserve my right to be dumb because no one person should have all the answers. Put your ego aside and ask the question.

It’s important if you don’t understand or you don’t have the answer you can ask the question. Chances are you are not the only person in the room struggling to understand what’s going on.

The trick is, the culture of the organisation will determine if you ask the question.

Many years ago I was asked to a meeting I was recognised as an expert in my field, I had vast experience so I was invited. Most of the people in the room didn’t know me, they were a mixture of 3rd party stakeholders and project managers.

The air of importance in the room struck me so much so that I felt uneasy.

The meeting started and there was a structured agenda with updates on the project, there was challenges about the scope, baselines and items were to be fast tracked and there was mention of forward passes and waterfalls and deliverables.

I listened intently really listened as questions were asked people would say they would touch base offline and come back by close of play so it could be taken to the next level.

Others spoke about items being on their radar but as they peeled back the onion.. etc etc and as they went on they were interrupted by project manager who decided we couldn’t boil the ocean and we needed to be all singing from the same hymesheet.

I was in a parellel universe at that time I could see the issues and as I asked for an opinion on an item it was decided that would cause scope creep so it would be descoped from the project.

Whilst there was talk about critical paths along a road map which included milestones it would all be updated in the deck for the next meeting.

Waterfalls, boiling the ocean and thinking outside the box, slide decks and understanding who was holding the pen were all lessons learned.

Meetings would never be the same.

If you don’t understand ask the question, I reserve my right to be dumb.

Pay me big while I stay small.

Pay me big while I stay small.!!!

If you spend time over this weekend complaining to yourself that you are not paid enough for your job ask yourself......

Am I asking someone to pay me big as I stay small?.

Part of getting on in any career is the ability to show you are capable and you can deliver at the next level up.

To get that chance sometimes you have to ask for additional responsibility on top of your present job.

Good progressive leaders will appreciate the ask, they will provide you a task with guidance and constructive feedback on how you perform.

Not asking the question, wanting to stay small and not grow but expecting the big paycheck is a recipe for stagnation in your career and for your mental health.

Taking on the extra responsibility will take you out of your comfort zone and like any challenge its a stretch, but with the right support you will grow and prove you can deliver at the next level.

In career and sport if you put the extra effort into the last stretch you get the results there's pain in everything as you grow and move forward.

Your choice.

Selfcare matters for Leaders

Friday evening thought for the weekend.

Self care matters for leaders inside and outside work.

Good leaders bring their best selves to work each day. They strive to lead the team in a positive way, to encourage and mentor and to make the workplace a great place to be.

You put great care into how you manage your manager and the team you lead, you care about the people.

But what if you neglect your own self care, the chances are we will get stressed and hassled feel overwhelmed and that affects everyone around us in our professional and personal lives.

In 2010 when I suffered mental exhaustion working 84 hours a week I was most certainly not focusing on my self care, I worked longer hours to fix problems if I'm honest my leadership became inconsistant and I suffered a loss of confidence.

Self care matters for leaders inside and outside of work.

Get the basics right like

- managing your diet,

- getting exercise and

- building positive relationships

- taking time out to relax,

- monitor your workload

- monitor the time you spend working

do these things and your positive new world will start to fall into place you feel better about yourself and you begin to feel less stressed.

Check in with yourself,

How are you feeling?

Are you feeling relaxed?

Are you feeling stressed or overwhelmed?

Do you feel calm?

Take a break during the day get away from the desk for lunch, when your team see you do it they will know its OK to have a break.

Working long hours is not a badge of honour its a sign of an inability to time manage or of unreasonable demands which need to be discussed.

Respect yourself and understand the choices you make daily your life is your responsibility and self care is crucial for your future and your mental health.

What do you really want to achieve in life.

Saturday thought for the weekend.

Wearing shorts recently while standing in a queue I was asked about  tattoo's on my calf's which celebrate my ultra marathon running which prompted a conversation on ability and attitude.

Whatever you want to achieve in your personal or corporate life is achievable when you slow down understand the challenge and take time to build a plan.

Your attitude will keep you on track when your motivation waines, it will help you build your resilience and selfbelief as you take small steps to progress.

Message delivered some motivated younger peeps leave happy.

A past 40 mile run avg 12 min miles over 5600 calories burnt and an ability to dig deep and listen to positive self talk  is the proof in the pudding as they say.

What do you want to achieve?

#motivation #success #inspiration #leadership #personaldevelopment #goals #gratitude

Monday evening lack of confidence

August 9, 2021

Monday evening lack of confidence

So it’s Monday evening you are three weeks into the new job, a promotion a job you previously thought you would have sold your granny for.

You have the job, it’s the result of hard work, constant stepping up, stepping out of your comfort zone, experiencing the uncomfortable to move forward in your career has paid off.

Three weeks in and your new boss asked you to get a job done, you know you should have asked for clarification because you were not totally sure of the ask just the deadline. So you asked some of the new team you are leading for their opinions, you now hear on the grapevine they think you don’t know what you are doing and some thing you are asking for their permission to deliver change.

As you sit on the couch watching TV feeling stressed and not taking it in, because all you can think of is how can I fake it till I make it and you have not realised enter Imposter Syndrome.

You believe the team think you are now weak and ineffective, how did he/she get the job, what are you going to do?

New promotions take time to settle in. Early in you can get to a point of low confidence and uncertainty in your mind. This is where positive language and self talk comes into play. Get a balance in your language in your head and to your team, make it positive, say things like this is a great project to deliver let’s work together and get it done, i’m excited to be working with you on this it means so much for the company and our customers.

Give the boss an update and ask for feedback leave unconscious behaviours behind replaced with positive statements and clear direction to the team which will build trust.

The first 90 days of any promotion is crucial reviewing your leadership skills, your ability to manage upward, clarify your role and responsibilities and identifying the learning curve you are on is vital and reduces the opportunity for Imposter Syndrome to take hold while increasing your ability to show confidence and positive behaviour as you settle into the job.

I can coach you in leadership confidence within the first 90 days of your promotion, reach out to me and together we can continue your success.

You can do it.

Who motivates the motivator?

Saturday thought for the weekend.

Who motivates the motivator?

Even the most positive motivated leader can have a day when they feel their energy levels are down they feel in need of a lift, who then motivates the motivator?

As a leader when  you communicate with your team on days like this it will be their positive attitude and smiles that will motivate the motivator.

Never under estimate the positive effect you can have on every life that crosses your path.

Running amongst volcanoes many years ago I struggled at times, you didn't see many people along the way but those you did gave you a wave and a smile that kept you going and gave you a lift and motivated you.

Remember never give up.

It’s not Time management but Energy management that matters.

In the corporate world people are sent on time management courses so they can be more productive.

There is only so much time in a day, take a moment to understand that and to believe that managing your energy is the way forward.

Managing your Physical, Emotional and Mental energy can help you make substantial improvements in your personal and business relationships.

You may struggle to express appreciation to others.

You may struggle to focus on one thing at a time.

You may spend too little time on activities that give you a sense of purpose.

Realising that can be a shock but you can change.

Chances are the organisation you work for have helped you develop your skills, knowledge and competence. - Your Energy levels have been taken for granted.

Managing your physical energy

Get more sleep, start eating well, concentration, build cardio activity, take regular breaks.

Managing your Emotional energy

Breathing techniques to reduce anxiety, build positive reactions and improve patience.

Managing your Mental energy

Manage difficult tasks first, reduce interruptions during the day, find something to be grateful for, say thank you to others for a job well done.

You can buy time through deep abdominal breathing to relax and changing the negative self talk in your head to be more positive about yourself.

A 20 minute walk can give you a mental and emotional break with the exercise providing the brain greater capacity to see the bigger picture.

So think more about energy management rather than time management for a more positive future.

bjkennomotivation.com

Imagine a No Jerk Policy in your workplace

Imagine if your workplace had a " no jerk" policy. Regardless of who it was, the best manager, the best salesperson, the colleague you have coffee with.

Imagine if being a jerk was not tolerated, now imagine how your workplace has improved.

No more overlooking bad behaviour because someone is the best sales person and brings in good revenue.

No more overbearing, hurtful people who are just downright mean, rude and ignorant and talk down to colleagues.

Awful  people with those qualities create toxic work environments and personal relationships.

If tolerated the result on colleagues in workplace is depression and anxiety that can take years to get over and even then people will identify with trigger points at later stages in their lives.

You can learn to become more resilient to bounce back from these experiences, so the next time you have a negative experience it will not have as much of an impact.

If you have just realised you could be the jerk then you can change and improve your emotional intelligence increasing your self awareness and empathy and become a good leader.

Work with me and I can help you move forward on your journey with a positive outcome.

#mentalhealth #emotionalintelligence #leadership #empathy #leadershipdevelopment #resilience

How to be successful by an ultra marathoner

Would you take advice on how to be successful from an ultra marathoner (me).

Ultra marathoners have many skills that make them successful, skills that can be brought into personal and career lives if only people would listen.

Listening can be your secret weapon in moving forward to success.

In order to be a successful ultra marathoner you must work on your training plan for 40, 50,100 mile races and understand the level of commitment it will take to reach your goal. Build a foundation and have a decent time frame to meet your goal.

The ability to understand, use and manage your emotions is crucial to overcome challenges, obstacles and injury and personal conflict.

The real prison is in our minds, the voices chatter and won’t stop until you identify it name it and then ignore it by letting it know it has no space in your mind.

Believing in yourself, the strength that comes from your heart and your soul deliver possibilities in life that once we thought not possible.

Running an ultra marathon successfully includes setting Smart goals, visualisation, holding yourself to a certain standard, in a way being relentless with yourself. If the journey is important enough you have the reasons to get up and keep going.

You see you can only get so physically fit and then the mind takes over. It’s important to surround yourself with positive people.

Visualisation is important, see yourself running the race, doing the interview, getting the job.

You can train your thought process about how you will approach your goals.

Imagine the situation, the sensations you feel, the confidence building the positive self talk motivation telling you that you can do it, focused because it means something to you, calming as your anxiety reduces and you manage the pressure.

Training yourself to be positive is fun

-Look at all the positive things around you.

-Take care of yourself

-Give something back

-Get positive feedback everyday

Building your emotional intelligence to reach any goal in life will help you become

-more self aware

-be motivated

-become a great listener

-build willpower & discipline.

The tips from an ultra marathoner can be brought into any aspect of your life bebause when you believe in yourself and master your emotions you can achieve anything.

Believe.

How To Slow Down In Life & Be Grateful

Life is a choice, its your life, choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly choose happiness.

In 2010, I suffered mental exhaustion working 84 hours a week in financial services. I was striving for greater things in a career which I did not need. Earlier in my career, I survived 7 armed robberies and just accepted that as part of life and the price for getting up a corporate ladder.

The crisis in my life in 2010 brought about a rebirth, a new awakening within me. I realised that although I had been successful in a career and was on a six-figure salary, I had lost my way.

In 2006, I sat in a hospital ward beside the bed with my alcoholic father. Our relationship was strained. The doctor delivered the news that they could do no more for him and his time was limited.  They arranged palliative care for him.

When the doctor left my father turned to me and said,

“Son, if I had my time over the things I would do different”.

At the time, I learned nothing from that experience. A few weeks later we buried my father I spoke at his funeral and I continued to work at 100 miles an hour. A year later, my best pal died of cancer leaving a wife and 3 young kids. During his illness, I spoke to him about a new job opportunity I had been offered he encouraged me to take it. I did.

We buried my good friend, I spoke at his funeral and I did not stop to think, to grieve, to understand what is important in life. How short life is.

Why would it be a surprise when my wife had gone to work and my kids gone to school, I cried like a baby at 50 years old? I did not understand what was happening. I was at the top of the corporate ladder, but I was suddenly realising my priorities were skewed. Memories of my father, and my best friend on their death bed came flooding back. The lessons they learned, the lessons that passed me by and were now crashing down on front of me.

I had to stop.

I had to slow down.

During my recovery I read about Bonnie Ware, a palliative care nurse in Australia who worked with patients who had gone home to die. It was one of the articles that helped me gain some perspective for the future.

She explains that patients experienced a number of emotions such as denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and then eventually to acceptance of the inevitable.

Every single patient, she says, found their peace before they died.

She came up with 5 simple messages learned for all these people who died.

1.       I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself not the life others expected of me.

• the people saw all their dreams that had gone unfulfilled , most had not done 50% of what they had dreamed of because of choices made and not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise until they no longer have it.

2.        I wish I had not worked so hard

• This came from almost every male patient, they missed their children’s youth and partners companionship. All the men deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

• Women spoke of regret, most from an older generation who could not be bread winners.

• By simplifying your life stye and making conscious choices along the way it is possible not to need the income you think you do. By creating more space in your life you become happier and more open to new opportunities, one is more suitable to your new lifestyle.

3.       I wish I had the courage to express my feelings

• Many of the people suppressed feelings so as to keep the peace of others so they settled for a mediocre existence and did not become who they were truly capable of becoming. Many became ill because of bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. You cannot control the reactions of others, people can change how they react because you speak honestly.

4.       I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

• The people said they did not truly realise the benefit of old friends until their dying weeks. Many were so caught up in their own lives that they let golden friendships slip by over the years. There was many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time an effort they deserved.

• Everyone missed their friend when they were dying and they realised it comes down to love and relationships in the end.

5.       I wish I had let myself be happier

• Many people did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice as they had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits.

• Fear of change had them pretending to others and themselves that they were content, when deep within they longed for a proper laugh and some silliness again in their life.

When you are on your death bed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. You can take advice from these points and implement them in your daily life. Don’t make the same mistakes, live life in the moment, and for what is important to you.

My mission as a career and life coach to my clients is to get this self -awareness through to them so they can be their authentic self and live the best life that can be.

Contact me through bjkennomotivation.com to see how we can work together.