I am the most resilient person you could meet.

I can teach you about resilience because I am one of the most resilient persons you will ever meet.

I survived 7 armed robberies in a banking career

• I came back from mental exhaustion in 2010 from working 84 hours a week.

• I became a marathoner and ultra marathoner to raise funds for hospice and children with heart defects.

•  I responded positively to my house being significantly destroyed by fire in 2013.

• I responded to injuring 4 discs in my back in 2016 in March to run the Dublin marathon in October

  To be resilient you have to cultivate a belief in yourself, a belief that you have the ability to cope with anything the world could throw at you.

  At the time of the bank robberies I built my resilience, I could bounce back quickly from each of these significant events.

  I began to understand that I had a skill and an attitude that allowed me to develop a positive learned behaviour for my emotional intelligence. I learned composure to be able to manage my emotions during and after the robberies as I had responsibility for the staff and customers at that time.

  “Oh you are very resilient” family would say to me simply because I was able to adapt my responses and rebuild my life after each event, but not I must say without feeling a significant level of stress at the time.

  Many years later in 2010 I found myself managing several large teams with many demanding deadlines. I was working at 100 miles an hour to stand still and I had to manage operational issues which I believed were non compliant and I ended up meeting senior management to discuss. This ultimately lead to me suffering mental exhaustion.

  What I learned from my experience when working at 100 miles an hour 84 hrs a week, constantly worrying about the future.

  I had lost my sense of purpose, my ability to clearly identify the cause of my problems , to manage my composure, my self awareness.

  My resilience had been instrumental in my successful career and now in 2010 I suffer mental exhaustion I was devestated. It clearly showed a lack of resilience because I was not living in the present and I had lost perspective.

That said, in 2010on reflection I realised I had a deep down resilience, I realised that when I slowed down, worked on my self awareness and overall purpose in life I bounced back stronger after that setback.

I have gone on continue my successful career and to become a marathoner and ultra marathoner, a successful coach and motivational speaker.

You too can be resilient and bounce back and rebuild your life after adversity if you cultivate gratitude, be thankful for what you have rather than focusing on what's missing, get some sleep and maintain perspective.

If you would like some coaching on resilience contact Brian at bjkennomotivation. com

If I had my time over, the things I’d do differently.

“If I had my time over, the things I’d do differently, “ are words etched on my memory as they were said to me by my father when I was with him and the doctor told him there was no more they could do for him and it was palliative care going forward and time was short.

That was a life changing moment one if i’m honest I learned nothing from as I was working at 100 miles an hour meeting deadline after deadline, demand after demand.

I buried my father, spoke at his funeral and went back to work.

Looking back it was clear my father struggled as an alcoholic who had in his early career been a brilliant businessman, and had many offers to go work for large companies as an executive but he preferred to work for himself due to a bad experience with a boss in PYE in his early work life. Subsequently he had made bad choices and no choices which meant he had many of his personal dreams unfulfilled.

When I suffered mental exhaustion working 84 hours a week I read palative care nurse Bonnie Ware’s experience of dealing with people at end of life.

She says people grow a lot when faced with their own mortality. That made perfect sense given the words of my father.

As I found myself getting over mental exhaustion and making the conscious decisions to

1. To get my life in order

2. Get my priorities straight,

3. Deciding I would seek no more promotions, 4. Accept I was happy at my overall managerial level,

5. I would make a bigger effort to mentor and bring people with me to improve their promotional opportunities to fit a life they wish to choose for their future.

Bonnie Ware wrote the top 5 regrets people had at the end were.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2.  I wish I hadn’t worked so hard

3.  I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

5.  I wish I had let myself be happier

You can have the career you dream of once you take the time out to really understand what you want from life.

Brian at bjkennomotivation can mentor and coach you to reach your goals contact Brian through bjkennomotivation. com

Have you ever asked God for help with your career?

Have you ever asked God for help with your career.

Chances are you really only turn to God when you are desperate. Truth is every believer can expect help from God, but it takes time.

I know first hand if you read on that whilst your plans may be frustrated in the long term the opportunities will occur.

In the 90’s I was very successful in business development in financial services retail banking and I had applied for a more senior promotion 4 times without success.

I could not understand where I was going wrong, I found myself in church after each failure asking God for answers,

What’s wrong with me i’d ask?

Why can’t I get promoted?

Why don't they like me?

My performance has been faultless why do they continue to overlook me?

I would go home devestated every time feeling a a failure

I made a decision to go back to Head Office and I managed a back office team and cut my teeth on Operational management.

I didn't realise it but those decisions were a result of my asking God for help, doors had started to open instead of close.

I was on a journey.

As I was leaving the company in 1999 one of the managers responsible for not promoting me in the past asked to meet me. He was ill with cancer and I went to see him with a colleague. He advised me he was sorry I was leaving and the reason he had not promoted me previously was that I was too good at what I did and it suited him to keep me where I was, as I was delivering for him.

I left the company in October 1999 and within 7 years of that decision I had been on a journey that brought me to a career position with a six figure salary.

Unfortunately during the journey I left God behind, like most people even though I asked God to help me and things improved I then forgot to say thanks.

In 2010 working 84 hrs a week I suffered mental exhaustion and again when my situation was desperate I turned to God for help.

I came out the other end of the exhaustion I became a marathoner and ultra marathoner and started motivational speaking to help people to give something back .

I wanted some additional experience in speaking to groups of people and out of the blue I was approached about my interest to read the word of God to the congregation on Sunday in my parish church who had heard me speak at a funeral.

Suddenly I had an opportunity to stand in front of 200 people on Sunday and get used to speaking to big groups. God was coming to my help again and answering my prayers, he had not forgotten me.

Devine inspiration in my career helped me reduce my stress levels and be more peaceful and organised even now during the covid19 crisis.

The #16 tattoo I have on my arm refers to psalm 16 a prayer of confidence in God, where I have understood that with God I have all I need and my future is safe in his hands and I am thankful for the gifts given to me and how now nothing can shake me.

Since 2010 I made a decision to trust God I asked he would see me through and I knew he would.

Belief and faith is personal its worked for me.

As you plan your career know your plans can be frustrated, there will be many turns and stumbles if you can slow down in life you will identify the opportunities, doors will open and your needs will be met.

Learning something new to keep old traditions alive.

Learning something new is very good for your brain because it stimulates neurons which help you be more open to change.

My mother baked the most beautiful Xmas puddings every year. After my siblings and I got married she also made puddings for all our families.

In all honestly I know I took it for granted. When she passed in February 2018 not only did I miss her terribly but we had discussions about the missing puddings.

This year I took her secret recipe from her papers and as I read the requirements I tried to believe that I could deliver a pudding.

As a Coach and motivational speaker I have spoken about the importance of having a growth mindset taking time out to believe in yourself as new learning gives you skills to be adaptable to changes and challenges in your life.

So I went for it and the Xmas puddings turned out great, see the attached pictures.

Believe in yourself and you can do anything.

How are you managing Imposter Syndrome?

How do you deal with Imposter Syndrome.

Feelings of not being good enough and self doubt in your job despite external evidence of success.

Pauline R Clance and Dr Suzanne A Imes defined and coined the phrase Imposter Syndrome.

People convince themselves they are phonies amongst their colleagues who they view as the real deal. As a result they work longer and harder to measure up in their own eyes.

This over work can result in burnout, issues with mental health and relationships with colleagues in work and people at home.

Even when the boss provides excellent feedback for the work done you can struggle to believe it.

To manage your Imposter Syndrome you need to work on and become more tuned into the validation, positive messages /feedback given to you so your inner confidence grows.

Even Einstein didn't think his work was good enough.

When a person takes the time to give you a compliment on your work don’t brush it off, take a moment stay silent, take the compliment and don’t disagree by being too humble.

Attached is some feedback I received that helped me on my journey to manage my Imposter Syndrome.

70%of the world’s population deal with Imposter Syndrome at some time only people like snake oil salesmen don’t have this level of self doubt.

In reality you probably won’t get rid of your syndrome but you can manage it by surrounding yourself with positive people and a work community that can help you with honest feedback.

bjkennomotivation.com

A Personal Brand is not just to fool people.

I worked hard for many years being promoted in every company I have worked for as I strove for the future I thought I wanted.

Things changed when I was blessed with children, the responsibilities became greater and I had to learn to transition for a different future I now needed to provide for, which spawn personally an even greater personal need to fast track promotion.

Many managers can relate to the following statement

“I spent a lot of time in the trenches dealing with day to day customer executive complaints while driving the corporate strategy from behind to bring everyone with me and I also drove market share as I lead change and operational change from the front bringing people with me”.

I like many managers was very humble about my skills and talents and even more so about my personal achievements but I celebrated team achievements and awards.

What I began to realise is that everyone has a Personal Brand, and its not about trying to fool people.

Your personal brand is about how you communicate……

This is who I am.

This is what I can do.

This is what I stand for.

There are many managers who use their personal brand to fool people, to believe they will deliver when they personally can’t and they won’t, some are very good talkers and can get into positions of power and consistently get on in their careers on the backs of others and do nothing to bring people with them to improve their careers.

Many good managers are too humble about the value they contribute, the problems they solve, the difference they make to an organisation on a daily basis.

As a result executive management in the organisation miss what is actually contributed and begin to believe that manager is easily replaceable.

Managers should actively promote their Personal brand in the organisation and regularly highlight their achievements.

You personal brand is not to fool people but to highlight who you really are and what you can contribute.

Share your gifts and cultivate the genius in others.

Share your gifts and cultivate the genius in others.

So you have been promoted to a management role and you are about to step into a whole new world.

Chances are

1.You did a fantastic interview,

2.You blew them away with your answers,

3.You were already a role model in your day job and management thought you would be a good fit for the promotion.

What next.

1.Take control of your thoughts.

2. Identify imposter syndrome and deal with it.

3. Realise you won’t have all the answers

4. Realise you will have to let go the need to get all the credit in the future.

5.Try to identify your leadership style

You are now in control of a team to manage and to motivate and results to deliver with challenging deadlines.

One of the main responsibilities you have is to prepare a plan to ensure your team and direct reports can go on to bigger and better things with your guidance, motivation and time.

Ask yourself what areas of the new job do you feel you lack confidence and organise to have training and mentoring to help you close the gap and feel comfortable.

In time you will find yourself

1. Celebrating team successes

2. Providing assistance to team members

3. Providing clear communication through listening and mutual respect.

4. You find your team trust you as you provide leadership true to your core values.

As a result you realise you are cultivating the genius in others for the overall benefit of the organisation.

Find your Leadership Voice

As a leader you have to develop your leadership voice.

You succeed with a promotion and you are eager to please, yet unsure how to communicate at meetings with people at the table  who are around longer than you .

You don't really want to say what you think as it may be viewed as a negative voice and the inference is you start off as not being a team player.

You may be inspired by the person you replaced following your promotion but you should be aware you can not mimic how they lead or communicate.

Your leadership voice, should not be one that fits all, it has to be a range of voices that reaches the emotion of the listeners that in turn will influence, persuade, and if you are lucky inspire.

This requires communication techniques that involve clarity, empowerment and humour.

Most leaders when promoted do not receive training in the skill of communication.

Your leadership is not just your tone of voice, it's a reflection of your core values which shine through as you present yourself as a leader.

Find your leadership voice with assistance through bjkennomotivation.com

#leadership #business #communication #leadershipdevelopment #success #inspiration #motivation

When was the last time your CEO showed vulnerability.

When was the last time your CEO and or senior managers showed a vulnerability.

I had a chat with a pal recently and asked that question and he replied, they do not show vulnerability because they will feel exposed and shown as a weak leader.

Research shows that vulnerability is a characteristic of an effective leader.

Vulnerability can be good for business, it shows leaders have courage, they are authentic.

Staff and employees are more likely to buy into the company culture they will be more loyal to the company and there will be more respect for all the teams within the company.

It’s good to know that people view a leader who is vulnerable as trustworthy, a person of humility, as one who has courage and can be trusted.

CEO’s who display these characteristics enhance positive behaviour and performance amongst the workers.

A culture of trust and learning in a company provides an opportunity to become more resilient in tough times.

bjkennomotivation.com

International Men’s day

Delighted with my invitation back to Ulster bank today, International Men’s day to speak to the Ulster Bank Women’s Network and wider staff on male mental health and resilience and overcoming stress while working from home.

Many thanks for the positive recommendation as outlined in the attachment of this blog.

Stay safe and ask a pal today how are they feeling?