Could you be the Bully in the workplace ?

I like to think that no-one goes to work each day with the objective to bully some individual.

But unfortunately there are leaders out there that do just that.

Bullying can be seen as aggressive behaviour from one or more colleagues or superiors over a long period of time,where the targeted person finds it difficult to defend themselves or get out of a situation.

Victims of bullying have claimed that bullying is mainly caused by the psychopathic personality of the bully.

In my view bullies go to work with the intention to harm people and they engage in specific planned actions to harm people. They can do this a number of ways through disorder, ambiguity in initial communication and contradictory directions to teams by changing the goal posts half way through a job or project and in what they say directly to people.

Heinze Letmann in his research on bullying claimed that organisational factors relating to the organisation of work and quality of leadership behaviour were the main causes of bullying. He rejected that any of the personal characteristics of the victim play any part in the development of bullying.

What is clear for everyone to note is that bullying is crippling and devestating for the victims as they suffer emotional reactions such as helplessness, anxiety, fear and depression and they completely change their outlook on life as they become more negative, insecure , and feelings of constant danger around them.

Organisations can identify the bullying behaviour if they are truly interested by looking at staff turnover , sick leave and productivity in the team or persons affected. Yes short term productivity will be gained but not in the long term as the behaviour will cost the organisation in the long run.

There is huge interest in the subject of workplace bullying which reflects the magnitude of the problem in the workplace.

Could it be however, that there is less attention being paid to the relationship between bullying and the organisational outcomes ? because bullying still exists for short term outcomes.

Are you responsible for producing severe emotional reactions in your workplace just to meet short term goals ? Do you intentially go to work as a leader to produce results regardless of the human cost ?

Only you know the answer to that.

bjkennomotivation.com

Does it matter where you sit in a meeting ? Yes it does and here is why.

The boss will sit in the power seat at the head of the table. They do that because they want to see and hear everyone in the meeting and manage any discussion that takes place.

Anyone who sits in that seat in the absence of the regular leader sends out the message that they are a leader and in control.

If you sit to the right or left of the boss you are straight away seen as a supporter of the boss and an influencer of sorts.

If there is no seat at the top of the table then it’s usual for the leader to take the middle seat along the side.

So where should you sit.

Well if you sit opposite your boss be prepared to be challenged and to be asked your opinion as you will be seen as a contender to your boss. If you ever find yourself in that seat and don't want to be a contender then you must ensure your body language and anything you say in the meeting is seen to be supportive of the boss.

It’s good to note that when people attend meetings regularly in the same room they tend to sit in the same seat without any realisation that where you choose to sit can help you to be successful in the meeting, to be noticed and to get an opportunity to contribute to a discussion.

In a meeting the middle seats along the side are seen as being filled by the people who are there with the intention to work with everyone in the room, to support them and to listen to them. They are usually the people who are seen as approachable and the collaborative people in the team.

So if you get to the room early choose wisely for example, if you choose a seat with your back to the wall while also facing the door you get to say hello to everyone, and make a great first impression to everyone who enters the room and people get to know you. That seat is seen as a power position in the room.

So think about where you sit especially if you have to leave early.

If you wish to be heard then you should sit to the left of your boss. If you want to be unnoticed sit to the right of your boss.

So don’t just choose a seat at random, have a goal in mind of what you want to get out of the meeting and remember where you sit can affect the perception people have of you in the meeting which also affects your career.

Choose your seat wisely.

bjkennomotivation.com

Why would you need a Career Coach?

At some stage in your career a day will come when you realise you need some assistance to move your career along.

A great coach will have worked in industry for some time with years of experience leading and managing teams which has provided them with unique insights.

Over the past few years I have had the privilege of working with many professionals across the globe at all stages of their careers within many organisations across many industries.

An investment in yourself will more than payoff in the long run as you build on the skills and capabilities to improve your leadership skills.

As a career, mental health and wellness coach I have specialised in helping Managers be successful within the first 90 days of promotion while also working with Executives and Managers identify, manage and deal with stress in their daily lives.

It has been my pleasure to work with individuals who have improved their capabilities, overall awareness, emotional intelligence while learning how to make informed decisions and build their personal brand.

I have tailored coaching plans to suit each individual so if you are serious about bringing your career to the next level get yourself a career coach or contact me through bjkennomotivation.com

Procrastination - Be Damned

Psychologists have identified many reasons for why people procrastinate, they believe its a trait linked to low-self confidence and increased levels of anxiety.

An inability to motivate yourself to complete or start even the simple tasks can be linked back to a lack of structure in your daily routine and a fixation on negative thoughts flooding your mind.

Procrastination can lead to increased levels of stress and regret as goals are missed and opportunities are blown away.

The constant fear of failure and growing imposter syndrome within can lead to tasks being incomplete and personal negative self talk judgement.

Research shows the average person will procrastinate for 218 minutes a day but the good news is it reduces when you get older. But that’s not much good if you are trying to build a career now.

Here’s some good tips to help you stop procrastinating, please read them now not tomorrow lol.

1. Try to admit you are procrastinating

2. Establish a daily routine

3. Make a to do list

4. Divide & Conquer. Split the tasks in small goals.

5. Bribe yourself. Give yourself a reward

6. Try the 3 minute rule . Try doing something for just 3 minutes and you may find you can get into it and solve the issue you had been putting off.

I am delighted you took the time to read my blog today and not tomorrow so you have taken the first step away from procrastination. Well done.

Invest in yourself today with coaching from Brian.

Bjkennomotivation.com

Future gazing -Easter a time for new beginnings.

How do you look forward to the future?

Looking forward to the future usually means thinking about something that is going to happen in the future with pleasure and excitement.

Sometimes we take time to consider what is in our future with optimism rather than thinking about the past.

Some people spend their time wishing, trusting, assuming that good things will happen at any time now for their future rather than putting in the work to deliver the future they want. They become stagent in life stuck in a rut eventually have major problems making decisions and trouble navigating their lives so they stay in their comfort zone.

Future gazing, taking action today for the future by setting yourself realistic goals in life is crucial for growing as a person. Focusing on the small steps of the ultimate goal while visualising ourselves achieving them will help you gain the future you dream of while also navigating your way around obstacles that step in the way.

The future can be uncertain, so consistent worrying about the future can only add to your stress and anxiety.

Abraham Lincoln said “ The best way to predict the future is to create it”.

So as you think about your future is it possible? plausible? or probable? you decide.

Easter is a time for new beginnings so why not go for it.

bjkennomotivation.com

What makes Brian a great motivational speaker and coach

Meet Brian, the ultimate survivor. He's not just a motivational speaker, coach, and mentor with over 35 years of experience leading large teams across various industries and jurisdictions. This guy has survived seven armed robberies during his banking career and battled mental exhaustion working 84 hours a week. I mean, talk about a tough cookie!

But wait, it gets better. After taking a break in 2010, Brian re-evaluated his life and became a prolific marathon and ultra-marathon runner, raising funds for charity and inspiring others with his story. He's like Forrest Gump, but with a lot more muscle and a lot less shrimp.

Now, if you're feeling stressed, don't worry. Brian's got you covered. As a mental health and wellness coach, he'll help you identify and manage your stress so you can stay in senior positions. And if you're about to start a new job, he'll coach you to succeed within the first 90 days. He's like a life coach but without the cheesy motivational posters.

But the best part? Brian's talks are not your boring, run-of-the-mill motivational speeches. He's a master storyteller who will make you believe in yourself and your inner gifts. So, whether you're a company, sports team, sales team, or university student, Brian's got the humour, the wit, and the inspiration to make your day.

What is worry , really ?

Why do we worry ,why do we sometimes let it consume us

Worry is natural and it can keep us safe and motivate us to actually work on our work life balance

Worry makes us think about all the things that might happen it can make us frightened and lead to heightened anxiety and feelings of unfulfillment which in turn makes us judge ourselves harshly .

Next time you catch yourself worrying breath deeply try to relax and get some rest. Try to distract yourself with something that interests you so you can calm down.

Talk to a friend and check out a good mentor who you can speak openly to.

Take some time out to write down your short term goals and see how well you are doing and celebrate.

Remember if you constantly worry about your career it can lead to feelings of unfulfilment and imposter syndrome.

Coaching with Brian through bjkennomotivation.com can help you through imposter syndrome and the career you deserve.

recognise it rec

Everyone wants to feel a win sometime.

More and more people are living their lives at 100 miles an hour on auto pilot. They drive to work and wonder how they got there.

People are feeling stressed and overwhelmed and eventually they begin to wonder what’s the point in all of this and start looking for a way out.

Taking time out to slow down and live in the present can give you the opportunity unity find your true purpose and change your life.

Start with understanding your Emotional Intelligence in how you react to life’s challenges and relationships.

EI is the ability to understand ,use and manage our emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively and to be able to empathise with others.

We can increase EI by improving our listening skills, practice ways to have a positive attitude, take time out to practice self -awareness, learn to respond rather than react to conflict.

We can improve EI by doing a self evaluation of our reactions to stressful situations and making sure we take responsibility for our actions and how they effect others.

Building great relationships with others can improve our overall wellbeing and help us be more positive about the future.

When we focus on doing things we enjoy we begin to live in the present moment and we enter the state known as ‘flow’

Flow is defined as a state of consciousness during which people typically experience deep enjoyment, creativity and total involvement with life or the activity they are engaged in.

We find meaning in life when we do something greater than ourselves like raising money for charity and it makes us happy.

Happy people look back on the past with gladness to the future with hope and enjoy the present moment.

Marathon running helped me enter the flow state after i suffered mental exhaustion working 84 hours a week.

It was then I was able to live my best life and achieve the vision o had for my life.

I am now on a mission through my coaching and motivational speaking to help as many people as I can so they do not make the errors I did during my lifetime .

Learn from the best .

Never ever give up.

Wednesday message -Never give up.

Getting hurt is not what we would ever want for ourselves but it happens.

So it may seem strange to practice acceptance in the face of injury.

I've been active through football all my life with a trial in the UK I was handy but  didn't want to be a professional.

I've run marathons and ultra marathons to raise funds for hospice and children's heart charity which gave me the opportunity to give back.

When you find out running marathons with 8% mobility in a hip you have to listen and in 2019 I ran my last marathon but continued to jog short distances for fitness.

4 weeks ago I had a hip replacement and making peace with the reality of no more running was frustrating .

Suddently you realise you are limited to what you can do for a period of time and you don't want to be a burden.

The healing process is challenging but vitally important to be patient to give your mind and body time to reflect and be grateful.

I have used visualisation and meditation to focus on recovery as my muscle memory comes back.

If you are injured or something is not going your way I know it sucks , however it's important to give yourself a break and rest to support recovery knowing you can work your way back to where you were and better.

Learn from it ,don't let it get the better of you and you can come back better.

4 week post Op I'm walking 50 mins twice a day and doing my exercises as per the plan maintaining a positive outlook on what has yet to come .

Believe and you can do it.

Pic of Luna my pal who won't leave my side since I got home and looks after me.

How do you tell people you are great at what you do?

What if you could really accept that you own your career and not your job.

What if you could get your head around the fact that personal development coaching in the first 90 days in a new job following promotion is crucial to ensure  your continued success.

Do you truly believe in yourself and are you able to communicate how good you are at your job ?

See how the fantasic actor Dinsdale Landon in the 70's TV Thriller series  explained to his client Mrs Hunter about his character name Matthew Earp and how people react to him and most important what he says about his abilities.

Believe in yourself.

If you would like coaching to manage stress , build your executive presence or to ensure you are successful in the first 90 days following promotion reach out to me .

#success #growth #react